Monday morning comics

So much of what is fun about having kids isn’t the big events-it’s the little things that they say or do that can keep you in stitches.  Don’t get me wrong, my kids can drive me batty at times and there are plenty of times I yell at them, but really there’s so much that just cracks me up.

Before I forget these I just want to keep a record of some of them so that we have a way to remember, so here’s a list of some of the recent ones, in no particular order.  (sorry for the poor formatting, wordpress is a bit hampering that way)

Walking in from afterschool

Boy, pulling me aside: “Can I talk to you about something?” he says in a soft voice.

Me: “Of course, what is it?”

Boy: “Well, sometimes when I hit my sister, it takes her a long time to start crying.  I’m really worried that the signals aren’t getting to her brain fast enough. Maybe you should take her to a doctor to get her checked out.”

Reading “Oh The Places You’ll Go” at bedtime with both kids:

Me: “…you can steer yourself any direction you choose!”

Girl: “That’s not true.”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “That’s not true for little kids.  You have to steer youself where grownups tell you.”

Boy: “Yeah.  At least until you’re 10, I think.”

Driving back from school

Eric: “Girl, what do you love most in the world?”

Girl: “My whoooole family.  Even brother.  Even you and mommy when you are being mean to me.”

Love triangles of the preschool set

Me: “Are you still friends with that little boy A?”

Girl: “Well, I not so much friends with A anymore.  A was in love with me but I was in love with B. But then I got sad because B wasn’t in love with me but was in love with C.  And then A was sad because I wasn’t in love with him. Now, no one is in love with me. That makes me sad.”

On choosing a travel destination

Boy: “Mom, can we not travel to China, ever?! Let’s just have good Chinese food when we go to Japan.”

Me: “Why not? “(ignoring the food comment)

Boy: “Because! They are friends with North Korea!! And you have to be very controlled in North Korea! It’s not like South Korea where you can be free.  You need documents and government permission and can never leave.”

Fixing an injury

Girl, crying and crying in bed after bumping her knee: “Wahhhhh”

Me, coming over to comfort her, and leaning over to give her a hug.

Girl: “Waaahhhhh Waaa-Mom, are those new earrings? They are beautiful—Waaaahhhh”

Me, rolling my eyes at her clearly severe injury.

There are so, so many more and I wish I had time to write them all in when they happen and I want to get better about it.  Now that they’re both older and really talking, it’s nearly constant.

Cheetahs never…

The other morning, the boy was in the bathroom down the hall and the girl was keeping him company by sitting outside the closed door and chatting with him.  All of a sudden, she yelled down the hall “MOM! Brother says that there are cheetahs in Asia!! He is WRONG!”

I think about this for a second, and then yell back down, “Kid, there’s no cheetahs in Asia.  They’re only in Africa!”

He yells back (still in bathroom), “NO! There are cheetahs in Asia! They live in Iran!”

Still doubtful, I use my google-fu to learn that, well, shit, there ARE cheetahs in Iran.

“You’re right, actually! How did you know that?!” I asked him.

“‘Cause we’re learning about Asia and we just did a part on Iran,” he replies.

And all I can think is that I’m now living with someone who’s going to be an even more insufferable know-it-all than myself.

Sing Us a Song…

Error
This video doesn’t exist

Tales From the Backseat of a Minivan

Last week, while driving by DU

Me: Kids, did you know President Obama is going to be there tonight?

Girl, angrily: Obama shpends 4 BILLION dollars a day!!!

Boy, yelling: THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S JUST A LIE MITT ROMNEY SAID SO HE WOULD GET ELECTED PRESIDENT! IT’S NOT TRUUUUUUE!

Me: Girl, who are you going to vote for President?

Girl: Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney!

Boy, yelling again: HE’S A LIAR!! YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HIM!! HE’S A LIAAAARRRR!!!

I couldn’t imagine where they had heard any of this since we don’t tune in to commercial TV or radio, and I don’t think I’ve ever said anything about Obama’s spending.

Me: So, where did you hear this?

Boy: Remember the commercials we watched during the Olympics?

Ah, those commercials.  2 MONTHS ago. And apparently since then we’ve had a red state/blue state divide in my own house, and I didn’t even know it.