In which I share final thoughts on Japan, and we are warned of possible projectile vomiting, I think. 

Overall, we all loved Japan though it was harder than I had anticipated to travel there. Here’s some thoughts, in no particular order.
1. The language. Very, very few people speak English here. I don’t mean to sound like the typical Ugly American Tourist, only to comment that it can be hard to get around. Not only is it hard to communicate with people, but little of the signage outside of a train station is in English, so navigation is tough too. In Vietnam and Cambodia, most things were dual signed, even in Phnom Penh which isn’t set up for tourists as much as Siem Reap. And in Vietnam the script is roman script, so even if I don’t know what something says, I can match it up to the street on my google map or a restaurant name a lot easier. Trying to do that by matching Japanese characters is a lot harder. And weirdly, sometimes things would have one or two words in English on it but then would be otherwise in Japanese. Like a menu would say “Lunch Menu” at the top, but then all below was indecipherable to us. Using the google translate app gets you only so far. For us, this meant that one of our favorite things about traveling so far, which has been connecting with the people and learning about their lives, was much harder. If we were to come back for any longer period of time, I would try to pick up some conversational Japanese.


2. The food. Just incredible, and maybe the best three weeks of food I’ve ever had. Being semi-vegetarian also made things harder especially with the language – we were largely hemmed in by places that had English menus so we knew what we were ordering. Many restaurants are these tiny five to six seater places, and we loved that, sitting at a counter while chatting with the chef as we were able. We eat fish and so sushi was always the easy and relatively cheap option. We had ramen as well several places, and I’m 90% certain that it was pork bone broth every single time, but who knows. With broth, while traveling, I generally follow a don’t ask/don’t tell policy. There is so much more to Japanese food other than ramen and sushi, and we want to make some when we get home. The Onigiri, or seaweed wrapped rice balls, were delicious and would be perfect for kids’ lunches. We are going to miss the Japanese food so, so much. And the sake. 


3. Etiquette. Japan is a notoriously polite society, where people do things in a certain way and look down upon you if you do things the wrong way. We tried to be as respectful of this as possible, following etiquette as we could. However. I stopped caring quite so much when I noticed that people sneeze INTO THE OPEN AIR. Into a crowded subway car even. I’m convinced that this is how I caught a cold while I was there. After that, I stopped trying to be so precise about everything. I mean, I felt like this was one area which we did better than the Japanese, and I just figured that as a foreigner, we’re never going to get it all correct so it was better just to relax about it a bit.

4. Shopping. There are malls everywhere. They are huge and confusing, as most don’t have any walls between the separate stores. Everything in the malls is insanely expensive, like you’re shopping at Neiman Marcus but in every store. They are full of people. Who are these people? What are they buying all the time? Where do they put it? We never found out. If you do shop in Japan, bring your passport with you though as foreign travellers get their tax refunded to them. 

5. People. For the most part, people were warm and welcoming to us, even with the language barrier. The only time this didn’t happen was when we went into small restaurants that clearly only catered to locals, had no English around, and all conversation stopped when we walked in. One of these we walked into and asked for a menu. The chef looked at us like we had three heads and pointed to the wooden boards hanging all around the restaurant, written in Japanese, as if to say, “you morons, the menu is literally written on the walls.” We backed out slowly and didn’t go back in. 

6. Money. Japan has a reputation for being extremely expensive, and I have to say I didn’t find this to be the case. Overall, it was about as pricey as your average American city travel, and cheaper in some cases, partly thanks to the weak yen and strong dollar. I’ve easily spent more for the same housing and meals in NYC. Average Air Bnb was $60-120/night and an average meal for us was between $10-18 a person, including drinks. You can, of course, find much more expensive options and much cheaper options if you look. Even Disney tickets in Japan are considerably cheaper than the US, honestly. It’s not cheap cheap travel like in Southeast Asia, but it wasn’t like every meal cost us $100. 

7. Public Open  Spaces. There are none. Other than the manicured gardens requiring pay entry, there were no open parks with benches for people to sit and rest in, and we happened across zero playgrounds during our entire time there. We were walking so much every day that the kids got their exercise in, but it was odd. In general, Japan is a culture where things aren’t done in public. For example, other than ice cream, people do not eat in public. So when we’d get those onigiri from the 7-11 and try to find a place to sit and eat them, it was tough. Do the kids not play much there? I have to wonder. There are also almost no public trash cans. Take it with you, people. 

8. Restaurants with kids. This was tricky. First of all, you can smoke indoors at restaurants in Japan, so this made some places a bit tough to even go into. And kids aren’t really welcomed into bars at all, so even when we were just walking around and wanted to stop in for a drink while we found a place to eat on our phones, it just couldn’t happen. 

9. Prettiness. Everything is pretty. Even the manhole covers. So lovely. 

10. Vending machines. There are vending machines for everything purportedly, including underwear, but the only ones we saw were for drinks, liquor, and a vending machine for dashi stock. There’s also a lot of capsule toys and these are arranged in a long line where you can put in between $2-3 and get a little toy

And now, the street signs and others, Japan edition.

This crossing is for Don Draper and smooth criminals


Dancing elderly! Watch out!

Is this sign warning us to beware of drunk people throwing up?

Do not smoke cigarettes as large as your entire body here. I assume small ones are okay. Or cheroots. Who doesn’t like a little cheroot once in a while anyhow?

Aw, they even care about the robots here.

No selfie sticks, no littering, no smoking, don’t lean on stairs, and most importantly DON’T TOUCH THE GEISHA


In which we stay at a house out of a cartoon and finally get to relax in an onsen

After staying the night in a tiny and truly charmless Air BnB, we headed out for Oiso to visit the town of Hakone. Hakone is a mountain town known for it’s onsen, or japanese hot spring baths, and art museums. It’s also a resort town so when I went to look for places to stay, I was blown away by the prices – $300/night for the most basic! We’re really trying to stay at no more than $100/night as much as possible, allowing for the fact that Japan costs more than other places, and that was out of our price range. Instead, I found an Air BnB not too far away that had great reviews, so off we went. 
We arrived and our host picked us up and took us to the property. I haven’t written much about the places we’ve stayed, I realize. Mostly we are in Air BnBs which have 2 bedrooms and a living area, and the prices have been anywhere from $60-100 night for most of the trip. They’ve mostly been nice, clean and have worked well for us, usually set up like a standard small apartment you could imagine. 
This one was something else. The owner and his wife are artists/decorators/musicians/photographers/videographers/art teachers who live in the little seaside town of Oiso, where I later learned Haruki Murakami also lives. Masami, the husband, wakes up at 6 am to surf every day. We were hungry so stopped for ramen on the way at a place that made tomato ramen in a salt broth, quite tasty. 
Masami told us that he and his wife had redone the house with a shipping container, adding in the floors, the electricity and the rooms. We walked in through a sliding glass door and saw a worn wooden floor hallway going into a small patio and a twisted, narrow winding staircase off to one side. On either side of the hallway were rooms, one of which led to the shower room and also had a vintage foosball table in it which the kids promptly began playing. The other side had a room with a magazine racks in it and another staircase leading upstairs. The hallway ended in a large space with long tables, a small bar area, and a piano, drum kit, guitar, and various musical instruments scattered about. We walked up the narrow metal staircase to find the second floor with rooms to either side, and were motioned up to the third attic level through a tiny, steep staircase that emerged onto an open landing into a low ceilinged attic room. Eric stood up and immediately hit his head on a rafter, in what was to be an oft-repeated event for the two night stay here. I’m not sure what Japanese building codes are like, but I’m pretty sure this place doesn’t comply. For a kid, it’s a wonderland. Dusty rooms in seemingly secret places with treasures to be found around the bend. As an adult I looked down the attic staircase without railings and pictured one of the children tripping and falling to the bottom, laying there with their neck broken. At night we blocked off the entrance with a chair. Eric used whatever bottle was handy if he had to pee at night as the only bathroom was two sets of stairs down. 

We all headed off to the beach, we all played in the waves while Masami surfed. On the way home we picked up fish for sushi and some sake and headed back. After we showered and changed he had us come back to their part of the house, which was by following the second level back, outside on a wooden walkway and then into their house. That night we had hand rolled sushi for dinner! 


The following day we went to Hakone. This was truly beautiful. A switchbacking mountain railway leads to mountain base. If you wish, you can further take cable cars to the top and boats around. I do wish we’d had another day to explore and to take an entire loop of the town. As it was we went to the Hakone Open Air Museum, filled with outdoor sculpture of all kinds and a special Picasso exhibit with some of his fused glass paintings, which I had never seen. They had a big outdoor clear plastic bobbly play structure for the kids, who scampered about like little hamsters inside. We had hoped to see Mt. Fuji, but it was cloudy and she remained shrouded. She is indeed a modest lady. 


We then went to an onsen, or Japanese bath! It was so, so lovely. The men’s and women’s areas are separated as you go into the spas in your birthday suit. First you go into the locker room areas and disrobe, then sit in the communal shower area and wash thoroughly. Then you head into the spas! There were several small to medium size pools of different warmth and a cold pool for refreshment. I had been really looking forward to this as a time of peace and relaxation. The girl and I got into the onsen area and from the moment we stepped in it was “oh this is so nice the water is so warm oh this one is too hot should we try that pool that one looks like a cave here’s a cup! What do you think this cup is for? Oh they use it to splash water on themselves i’m going to try the cold pool what’s this little fountain for my towel is wet can you put my towel up can you fix my hair lets go into the sauna soon lets just put our feet in here okay maybe we can sit on the bench and take a break…” On and on and on. At one point I asked for five minutes of silence, and after 30 seconds I heard, “has it been five minutes yet? Now? Now? Now?” And I gave up on the peace and quiet part of the experience. Even with the logorrhea, the pools were so nice and my muscles felt better. 
That night for dinner was fresh gyoza and takomaki, or octopus dumplings, also amazing. (We had a octopus free version). Ikuko was a wonderful host – at breakfast that morning the boy had mentioned that he loves gyoza but we haven’t been able to find any vegetarian or fish gyoza here, and she said we’d have them for dinner! A South Korean guest had joined the house and we enjoyed meeting her for dinner. Next morning was miso soup and onigiri, or rice balls wrapped in seaweed. The onigiri became a staple food for us during the rest of our time in Japan.  


The next morning, after breakfast, we all hung out and played music together and chatted before we left for the train station. The boy played “Space Oddity” for all assembled, I pattered on the drum kit,  and Eric enjoyed having a piano again and playing.


-s

In which we stay at a house out of a cartoon and finally get to relax in an onsen

After staying the night in a tiny and truly charmless Air BnB, we headed out for Oiso to visit the town of Hakone. Hakone is a mountain town known for it’s onsen, or japanese hot spring baths, and art museums. It’s also a resort town so when I went to look for places to stay, I was blown away by the prices – $300/night for the most basic! We’re really trying to stay at no more than $100/night as much as possible, allowing for the fact that Japan costs more than other places, and that was out of our price range. Instead, I found an Air BnB not too far away that had great reviews, so off we went. 
We arrived and our host picked us up and took us to the property. I haven’t written much about the places we’ve stayed, I realize. Mostly we are in Air BnBs which have 2 bedrooms and a living area, and the prices have been anywhere from $60-100 night for most of the trip. They’ve mostly been nice, clean and have worked well for us, usually set up like a standard small apartment you could imagine. 
This one was something else. The owner and his wife are artists/decorators/musicians/photographers/videographers/art teachers who live in the little seaside town of Oiso, where I later learned Haruki Murakami also lives. Masami, the husband, wakes up at 6 am to surf every day. We were hungry so stopped for ramen on the way at a place that made tomato ramen in a salt broth, quite tasty. 
Masami told us that he and his wife had redone the house with a shipping container, adding in the floors, the electricity and the rooms. We walked in through a sliding glass door and saw a worn wooden floor hallway going into a small patio and a twisted, narrow winding staircase off to one side. On either side of the hallway were rooms, one of which led to the shower room and also had a vintage foosball table in it which the kids promptly began playing. The other side had a room with a magazine racks in it and another staircase leading upstairs. The hallway ended in a large space with long tables, a small bar area, and a piano, drum kit, guitar, and various musical instruments scattered about. We walked up the narrow metal staircase to find the second floor with rooms to either side, and were motioned up to the third attic level through a tiny, steep staircase that emerged onto an open landing into a low ceilinged attic room. Eric stood up and immediately hit his head on a rafter, in what was to be an oft-repeated event for the two night stay here. I’m not sure what Japanese building codes are like, but I’m pretty sure this place doesn’t comply. For a kid, it’s a wonderland. Dusty rooms in seemingly secret places with treasures to be found around the bend. As an adult I looked down the attic staircase without railings and pictured one of the children tripping and falling to the bottom, laying there with their neck broken. At night we blocked off the entrance with a chair. Eric used whatever bottle was handy if he had to pee at night as the only bathroom was two sets of stairs down. 

We all headed off to the beach, we all played in the waves while Masami surfed. On the way home we picked up fish for sushi and some sake and headed back. After we showered and changed he had us come back to their part of the house, which was by following the second level back, outside on a wooden walkway and then into their house. That night we had hand rolled sushi for dinner! 


The following day we went to Hakone. This was truly beautiful. A switchbacking mountain railway leads to mountain base. If you wish, you can further take cable cars to the top and boats around. I do wish we’d had another day to explore and to take an entire loop of the town. As it was we went to the Hakone Open Air Museum, filled with outdoor sculpture of all kinds and a special Picasso exhibit with some of his fused glass paintings, which I had never seen. They had a big outdoor clear plastic bobbly play structure for the kids, who scampered about like little hamsters inside. We had hoped to see Mt. Fuji, but it was cloudy and she remained shrouded. She is indeed a modest lady. 


We then went to an onsen, or Japanese bath! It was so, so lovely. The men’s and women’s areas are separated as you go into the spas in your birthday suit. First you go into the locker room areas and disrobe, then sit in the communal shower area and wash thoroughly. Then you head into the spas! There were several small to medium size pools of different warmth and a cold pool for refreshment. I had been really looking forward to this as a time of peace and relaxation. The girl and I got into the onsen area and from the moment we stepped in it was “oh this is so nice the water is so warm oh this one is too hot should we try that pool that one looks like a cave here’s a cup! What do you think this cup is for? Oh they use it to splash water on themselves i’m going to try the cold pool what’s this little fountain for my towel is wet can you put my towel up can you fix my hair lets go into the sauna soon lets just put our feet in here okay maybe we can sit on the bench and take a break…” On and on and on. At one point I asked for five minutes of silence, and after 30 seconds I heard, “has it been five minutes yet? Now? Now? Now?” And I gave up on the peace and quiet part of the experience. Even with the logorrhea, the pools were so nice and my muscles felt better. 
That night for dinner was fresh gyoza and takomaki, or octopus dumplings, also amazing. (We had a octopus free version). Ikuko was a wonderful host – at breakfast that morning the boy had mentioned that he loves gyoza but we haven’t been able to find any vegetarian or fish gyoza here, and she said we’d have them for dinner! A South Korean guest had joined the house and we enjoyed meeting her for dinner. Next morning was miso soup and onigiri, or rice balls wrapped in seaweed. The onigiri became a staple food for us during the rest of our time in Japan.  


The next morning, after breakfast, we all hung out and played music together and chatted before we left for the train station. The boy played “Space Oddity” for all assembled, I pattered on the drum kit,  and Eric enjoyed having a piano again and playing.


-s