Tantrum x 2

Last night after a day of playing in the snow, the kids were exhausted. I tried reading to the girl but she was so distracted from fatigue I kind of gave up. Below is what ensued.

On a different note, I’m wondering at what age you stop posting embarrassing things about your kids out of a respect for their privacy. The boy already tells me what not to post. I think the girl is getting close…but here’s one last one anyway.

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Monday morning comics

So much of what is fun about having kids isn’t the big events-it’s the little things that they say or do that can keep you in stitches.  Don’t get me wrong, my kids can drive me batty at times and there are plenty of times I yell at them, but really there’s so much that just cracks me up.

Before I forget these I just want to keep a record of some of them so that we have a way to remember, so here’s a list of some of the recent ones, in no particular order.  (sorry for the poor formatting, wordpress is a bit hampering that way)

Walking in from afterschool

Boy, pulling me aside: “Can I talk to you about something?” he says in a soft voice.

Me: “Of course, what is it?”

Boy: “Well, sometimes when I hit my sister, it takes her a long time to start crying.  I’m really worried that the signals aren’t getting to her brain fast enough. Maybe you should take her to a doctor to get her checked out.”

Reading “Oh The Places You’ll Go” at bedtime with both kids:

Me: “…you can steer yourself any direction you choose!”

Girl: “That’s not true.”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “That’s not true for little kids.  You have to steer youself where grownups tell you.”

Boy: “Yeah.  At least until you’re 10, I think.”

Driving back from school

Eric: “Girl, what do you love most in the world?”

Girl: “My whoooole family.  Even brother.  Even you and mommy when you are being mean to me.”

Love triangles of the preschool set

Me: “Are you still friends with that little boy A?”

Girl: “Well, I not so much friends with A anymore.  A was in love with me but I was in love with B. But then I got sad because B wasn’t in love with me but was in love with C.  And then A was sad because I wasn’t in love with him. Now, no one is in love with me. That makes me sad.”

On choosing a travel destination

Boy: “Mom, can we not travel to China, ever?! Let’s just have good Chinese food when we go to Japan.”

Me: “Why not? “(ignoring the food comment)

Boy: “Because! They are friends with North Korea!! And you have to be very controlled in North Korea! It’s not like South Korea where you can be free.  You need documents and government permission and can never leave.”

Fixing an injury

Girl, crying and crying in bed after bumping her knee: “Wahhhhh”

Me, coming over to comfort her, and leaning over to give her a hug.

Girl: “Waaahhhhh Waaa-Mom, are those new earrings? They are beautiful—Waaaahhhh”

Me, rolling my eyes at her clearly severe injury.

There are so, so many more and I wish I had time to write them all in when they happen and I want to get better about it.  Now that they’re both older and really talking, it’s nearly constant.

Sparkle Scarf

On a trip to Fancy Tiger a few months back, the girl saw this pretty pretty sparkly yarn and fell in love and wanted a scarf. Given that it’s not exactly cheap, I tied some vague, “you must be good” clause to me getting the yarn for her.

I thought she’d forgotten about it entirely, but then on the way back from the Thanksgiving wedding in Houston, she looked up at me and said, “I be so, so good at Megna’s wedding? Now you buy me that ‘parkly yarn and knit me a scarf?” How could I say no?

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Yarn: Knit Pixie Collage

Needles: 19 to cast on, 15 to knit

Pattern: Cast on 30, join in round, knit in garter, cast off.  reaaaal complicated.

You can’t see the sparkly goodness in this picture, but trust me, it shimmers.  It’s interwoven with a few strands of what seems like gold tinsel.

It took  me a few tries to get this right since there’s no real pattern-I really wanted a longer scarf that she could loop once around her head.  The first time I finished it, the cast on edge was so tight that I had to unravel the whole thing and cast on with larger needles.  Using size 19 needles for anything makes you feel like you’re knitting with broomsticks.  It also means that the entire thing took about an hour to knit, which is such instant gratification that I want to make about a million of them.

Here’s a picture of her wearing it that just screams, “Look, I just discovered photo filters!”

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4 year old sacrifice

For months, the kids have been doing anything to avoid being a rotten egg. As we go upstairs at night for bath and bed, the boy will scream, “Last one up is a rotten egg!!” and since being a rotten egg is the worst possible thing EVER, both kids will scramble upstairs as fast as they can. Sometimes I’m already halfway up the stairs when the boy darts by and the poor girl is lagging behind. Even though I run AS FAST AS I CAN, somehow I always manage to slip at the last second and the girl ends up on top of the stairs just a split second above me.

I moan, “I’m the rotten egg AGAIN?! I’m always the rotten egg!” and I proceed to weep while both  my children roll on the floor giggling loudly.

The other day after running upstairs and me being the rotten egg YET AGAIN, the girl stopped at the top of the stairs. I was kneeling and she put her hands on my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and said, “Mommy, I be rotten egg for you today,” and then gave me a big hug. I almost cried for real-it was one of the sweetest things she could have done.

I’m sure, though, tonight I’ll be back to being the rotten egg as usual.

Graduated to the High Bike

Big bike!

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Tales From the Backseat of a Minivan

Last week, while driving by DU

Me: Kids, did you know President Obama is going to be there tonight?

Girl, angrily: Obama shpends 4 BILLION dollars a day!!!

Boy, yelling: THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S JUST A LIE MITT ROMNEY SAID SO HE WOULD GET ELECTED PRESIDENT! IT’S NOT TRUUUUUUE!

Me: Girl, who are you going to vote for President?

Girl: Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney!

Boy, yelling again: HE’S A LIAR!! YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HIM!! HE’S A LIAAAARRRR!!!

I couldn’t imagine where they had heard any of this since we don’t tune in to commercial TV or radio, and I don’t think I’ve ever said anything about Obama’s spending.

Me: So, where did you hear this?

Boy: Remember the commercials we watched during the Olympics?

Ah, those commercials.  2 MONTHS ago. And apparently since then we’ve had a red state/blue state divide in my own house, and I didn’t even know it.