Chatterboxes, next up

Another installment in the “kids say the darndest things” episodes of this blog.

So, the boy has a best friend at school, who I’ll call Jake.  I tried writing this with just the kid’s first initial but it ended up sounding vulgar, you figure out which letter it is. One day Jake’s mother tells me that Jake told her that when he grew up, he was going to marry my son and they were going to “live in a house, shaped like a cake, surrounded by a lot of mist.” That in itself was adorable, and then a few days later when I was talking with the boy, I said, “So, I hear that you and Jake are going to live together in a house shaped like a cake, surrounded by mist.” And he replied, with a sigh, “We just love mist so much.”

Recently I posted on Facebook that I’m teaching the girl that leggings are not pants, which was tested not long after. One morning, after getting dressed, she came to brush her teeth.  I noticed that she was wearing a tshirt with leggings only. “Girl, you’ll have to put a skirt on.  You’re only wearing leggings.”  She got very, very serious, and said, “Mom, I need to tell you something.” She sat down on the bathroom stool and had me sit down on the edge of the bathtub to make her point. “I’m a kid,” she continued, looking me straight in the eye, “And kids wear leggings as pants.” I raised my eyebrows and replied, “Not in this house they don’t!” and went off to find her a pair of actual pants. The boy, later hearing me tell this story to Eric, said offhandedly “That’s spooky.” “Huh?” I said, not really understanding, “what’s spooky about that?” “Well, it just means that she’s growing up,” he said sagely.

We were out of coffee one morning (quel horreur!) and I took the boy with me to walk to the corner coffeeshop to get some. As we walked, he looked up at me and asked, “Mom, can I ask you something?” “Sure,” I said.  “Well, who are robbers, usually? Are they people like us, are they homeless people, or are they really really rich people?”  (?!)

And finally, one day after a rather tough afternoon for the girl, and then a tough dinner where we were kind of yelling at her for misbehaving, she just lost it.  She burst into tears and sobbed out, “I’m just a little, little girl, and my life is SO HARD!!’

First Diorama!

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So proud of his first diorama, about the Australian outback. Featuring-a red bellied black snake threatening a mom and baby dingo and a kangaroo, all with Ayers Rock in the background.

Finished, of course, at the last minute, otherwise he wouldn’t be my son.

Alpaca Poop

Catching up on blogging with some rapid sequence posting! It’s gardening season again! Last year I mentioned that I obtained alpaca poop from a cardiologist colleague who also happens to own and live on an alpaca farm. He is just one of the nicest people I know, to boot. This year I went back for more and brought the kids with me. IMG_1911 Just look at that face! On the farm they have alpaca, llama, and paco-vicuña, all used for their wool. They sell the fibers out of the farm and at various fiber festivals across the country.  Paco-vicuña in particular creates a lusciously soft fiber. The kids had fun getting to know the animals IMG_1917 Well, the girl did.  The boy, hilariously, was TERRIFIED of the curious but skittish creatures.  IMG_1910 That didn’t stop him from standing on the sidelines, shouting out instructions to the other kids and telling them the right way to interact with the animals, even though he rarely got within spitting distance of one again. IMG_1955 There’s the girl, helping to shovel some of the steaming pile of…poop. And once we got home, more shoveling. Thankfully I had some dedicated helpers. IMG_1963 IMG_1966 Pictured with the boy is one of his neighbor friends from down the street. He and his brother always run up and help us whenever there’s any gardening to be done, and are actually very good and helpful! Given that this post is a month old, most of the garden is done and planted at this point-will take pictures of that when it’s had a chance to grow a bit. Differences from last year so far–I’m not bothering with corn or any bell peppers.  I like the look of corn but it had too many creatures last year and not enough yield.  As for the bell peppers, I can’t get them to grow even remotely well.  I’m doing more beans this year and hoping to have some dried ones for winter, and I’m trying brussels sprouts for the first time. The boy also said he wanted his own plot so I’ve given him one of the boxes by the street-he thus far chose a broccoli plant, a green zebra tomato, a brussels sprout, and some flowers.  He’s responsible for the weeding and learning about the care of the plants, which will be a great summer project for him, I think.

Monday morning comics

So much of what is fun about having kids isn’t the big events-it’s the little things that they say or do that can keep you in stitches.  Don’t get me wrong, my kids can drive me batty at times and there are plenty of times I yell at them, but really there’s so much that just cracks me up.

Before I forget these I just want to keep a record of some of them so that we have a way to remember, so here’s a list of some of the recent ones, in no particular order.  (sorry for the poor formatting, wordpress is a bit hampering that way)

Walking in from afterschool

Boy, pulling me aside: “Can I talk to you about something?” he says in a soft voice.

Me: “Of course, what is it?”

Boy: “Well, sometimes when I hit my sister, it takes her a long time to start crying.  I’m really worried that the signals aren’t getting to her brain fast enough. Maybe you should take her to a doctor to get her checked out.”

Reading “Oh The Places You’ll Go” at bedtime with both kids:

Me: “…you can steer yourself any direction you choose!”

Girl: “That’s not true.”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “That’s not true for little kids.  You have to steer youself where grownups tell you.”

Boy: “Yeah.  At least until you’re 10, I think.”

Driving back from school

Eric: “Girl, what do you love most in the world?”

Girl: “My whoooole family.  Even brother.  Even you and mommy when you are being mean to me.”

Love triangles of the preschool set

Me: “Are you still friends with that little boy A?”

Girl: “Well, I not so much friends with A anymore.  A was in love with me but I was in love with B. But then I got sad because B wasn’t in love with me but was in love with C.  And then A was sad because I wasn’t in love with him. Now, no one is in love with me. That makes me sad.”

On choosing a travel destination

Boy: “Mom, can we not travel to China, ever?! Let’s just have good Chinese food when we go to Japan.”

Me: “Why not? “(ignoring the food comment)

Boy: “Because! They are friends with North Korea!! And you have to be very controlled in North Korea! It’s not like South Korea where you can be free.  You need documents and government permission and can never leave.”

Fixing an injury

Girl, crying and crying in bed after bumping her knee: “Wahhhhh”

Me, coming over to comfort her, and leaning over to give her a hug.

Girl: “Waaahhhhh Waaa-Mom, are those new earrings? They are beautiful—Waaaahhhh”

Me, rolling my eyes at her clearly severe injury.

There are so, so many more and I wish I had time to write them all in when they happen and I want to get better about it.  Now that they’re both older and really talking, it’s nearly constant.

Cheetahs never…

The other morning, the boy was in the bathroom down the hall and the girl was keeping him company by sitting outside the closed door and chatting with him.  All of a sudden, she yelled down the hall “MOM! Brother says that there are cheetahs in Asia!! He is WRONG!”

I think about this for a second, and then yell back down, “Kid, there’s no cheetahs in Asia.  They’re only in Africa!”

He yells back (still in bathroom), “NO! There are cheetahs in Asia! They live in Iran!”

Still doubtful, I use my google-fu to learn that, well, shit, there ARE cheetahs in Iran.

“You’re right, actually! How did you know that?!” I asked him.

“‘Cause we’re learning about Asia and we just did a part on Iran,” he replies.

And all I can think is that I’m now living with someone who’s going to be an even more insufferable know-it-all than myself.

Sing Us a Song…

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Tales From the Backseat of a Minivan

Last week, while driving by DU

Me: Kids, did you know President Obama is going to be there tonight?

Girl, angrily: Obama shpends 4 BILLION dollars a day!!!

Boy, yelling: THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S JUST A LIE MITT ROMNEY SAID SO HE WOULD GET ELECTED PRESIDENT! IT’S NOT TRUUUUUUE!

Me: Girl, who are you going to vote for President?

Girl: Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney!

Boy, yelling again: HE’S A LIAR!! YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HIM!! HE’S A LIAAAARRRR!!!

I couldn’t imagine where they had heard any of this since we don’t tune in to commercial TV or radio, and I don’t think I’ve ever said anything about Obama’s spending.

Me: So, where did you hear this?

Boy: Remember the commercials we watched during the Olympics?

Ah, those commercials.  2 MONTHS ago. And apparently since then we’ve had a red state/blue state divide in my own house, and I didn’t even know it.